Prolonging The Pain

“Rip it off” they say.

“I don’t want to; it’ll hurt more that way.”

“Only for a moment, then it’s done. You’re making it hurt more by dragging it out” they continue. Persistent, aren’t they?

But, on some level, you know it’s true. Pain is additive, or multiplicative, or whatever the algebra term is for things that build upon themselves. I might not know the word, but we both know the feeling.

It always plays out the same way.

You try to tug it off, to pull back slowly, and it hurts. Just a little, but enough that you can infer that it’s going to hurt really bad if you try to do it quick. So, you do it really slow, or at least I do. And it hurts a little more, and a little more… and you’re half way thru by the time you realize you aren’t saving yourself any suffering this way. No, you’re only prolonging the pain.

But now you’re committed to the path. So, bit by bit, you grimace and fight your way thru it.

And it hurts. You realize you aren’t saving yourself anything by doing it slowly. You should have listened when they said “rip it off”. You tell yourself you will, next time.

And in the end, you get thru it, raw and sore and tired and resolved not to repeat that process next time.

But you will. You’ll tug at it, just to see, and believe (because it starts off so small) that you really can do it slowly. It really will hurt less that way.

I’ll never learn.

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~ by brokenrazor on February 20, 2009.

One Response to “Prolonging The Pain”

  1. Why don’t you like metaphor, Sean?

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